I am currently sitting in my cousins apartment in Boston after a heck of a weekend. Last night was a pretty crappy night all in all, but for me at least one moment sticks out above the rest...
For a long time now I have been trying to control my alcohol intake. When I drink its either drinking socially, or drinking to rage and get drunk. There is no middle ground for me... bad habit #1. If I am just drinking socially I do really well, I have a beer or two, enjoy the taste, enjoy my company, enjoy the night, but if I am drinking to party it's sometimes quite a different scenario.
I don't mean that everytime I party I drink heavy and fast, but sometimes I do, and that is still too much. Last night I started our night in Portsmouth with 2.5 shots of Bacardi 151, about 2 beers and once at the bar had 2 shots of Jager and more beer. That is way more then I should have had, and I ended up getting really drunk and very loudly arguing with my cousin. That is the one moment that I regret from last night. The funny thing is it wasn't even a bad thing, but that's just not who I am. I was yelling about how I always would have his back no matter what and that it was rediculous that he would ever think that I would take someone elses side above his, which I definitely feel, but the problem was that I don't even really know why I was so loud about it. I was in his face about it when really there was very little if any reason to actually be addressing that issue. This is the first time I have ever gotten in someones face, and it wasn't because I was going to fight him or anything, of course not. But I was basically daring him to accuse me of choosing someone over him.
That was only one, and one of the worst, experiences that I have had because I had drank to much way to fast. Sometimes I just drink an entire bottle of Jagar of Vodka (750mls) and its really just stupid. I can handle it fine, meaning I don't throw up or anything but I brown or black out. Another kicker is that I do not need alcohol to have a great time when I go out. I have gone out many times and just danced, and had a better time then if I had been drinking...Good Habit #1
So here is my thoughts, alcohol, when consumed as fast and as much as I consume sometimes, is terrible for my mind and body. I really have no reason to drink aside that alcohol is so prevelent in our society that it seems to be bordering on brainwashing us with it. I am extremely rarely a bad drunk, but when it happens it makes me stop and wonder. So my plan for now is to continue to try to stop the times when I just pound alcohol. I have better times drinking socially and I need to keep working on that.
The solution to this is that nope, I am through with being like a frat boy with alcohol. I am going to enjoy it responsibly from now on.
On a side note, I tend to be very all or nothing. With food, I sometimes just gorge on it. I eat fine 90% of the time, but 10% is either me skipping meals or me gorging on what I have. These two things are two of the only vices I have and am going to work on. And no, I am not worried about either of them.
Mood: Trying to be determined
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